your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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