Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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