Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize