Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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