I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
