But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
