i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
