well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
