He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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