im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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