Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
