I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
