dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize