we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
