The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
