Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
We need to get me chipped asap
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
