So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
