well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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