why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I pour the whiskey from now on
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Randomize
