omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Randomize
