Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
