I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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