he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
