My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Less talking, more tequila
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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