New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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