Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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