fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
