i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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