just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
