i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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