College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I could fuck to npr.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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