It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
This is the high leading the old right now
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize