You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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