Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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