things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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