party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Too much gin, very little bucket
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
