How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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