Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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