"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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