Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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