Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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