Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
