Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
My liver just had a heart attack.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
me + whiskey = a bad person
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
