Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
