I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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