there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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