it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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