the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Randomize
