The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
