What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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