I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
A bitchslap is in order.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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