there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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