Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
