Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Randomize
