He asked me if I "almost moaned"
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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