dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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