so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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