Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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