Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
