is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
