I'm laying in your front yard are you home
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
