that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
