just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
